I was raised by the mom that believed the latter and that may be why I didn't do the same thing with my own family. Don't get me wrong because I love my husband. It's just that he was a big boy and could fend for himself.
My mother thought that a woman should never be seen un-made by her husband. She go up every morning no mater what, brushed her hair, her teeth, put on a full face of make-up and made breakfast before she ever woke him up for work. She had supper ready for him every evening until she had to start working. She waited on him hand and foot. She even told us (many times) that he always came first. His needs and his wants came before ours and if she didn't have the time for us or the money it was too bad.
I was hurt by that. Perhaps if she had never said that I would have never figured it out. The mere fact that she had to speak it aloud and to us crushed me. To me it was telling me that I was not important.
In my life I have rarely worn make-up, so my husband has seen me without it. We spent 4 years in the Army, 3 married, but stationed in different places. When we came home he worked second shift for two years so fixing him a meal was impossible while I was working first shift and taking care of kids. When he was finally on first shift he had his evening meal with us and we were a family. Nowadays, since our kids are grown. I only fix breakfast on the weekends as there never seems to be enough time to get ready for work and make a meal.
