White Noise (from 2016)
Early this morning my husband had gotten up without me
knowing. Some mornings I feel him get up even though I almost never hear his
alarm clock because I wear ear plugs to sleep. I do that because he is one loud
snorer and because every little exterior noise wakes me up. I have slept this
way for years. When I go sleep I usually hear my ears constantly ringing in
high pitched tones and this is something, while annoying I have become
accustomed to it. The quieter it is the more noticeable it becomes and
sometimes music accompanies it. So let me get back on track. Today, when I woke
up and I decided to just lie there since it was 5 AM and I was warm and
comfortable. I recall my husband opening the door to let the dog out of the
bedroom then I rolled over. There had been a loud white noise sound in my head (that
was louder than the ringing sounds) which I had noticed but I had not assigned
any significance to it. Suddenly the white noise just shut off like a switch
had been flipped. It was so noticeable I thought the power had gone off to the
house so I got up.
This is not the only time that has happened nor was it the
only sound I have heard because other sounds go off in my head. Often I hear
what sounds like banging, explosions, or bursts in my head as I first lie in
bed trying to fall asleep. Of course that would wake me up and worry me. I
worried about these for some time thinking I was having some health problem
only to find out it is quite common. Doctors will tell you it is an auditory
hallucination, but then of course you will think you are crazy. You are not
crazy! Rather than it being a health problem or a case for being looney it is
more like your brain shutting down for you to go to sleep. In fact it is like
several sections of your brain shutting down at the same time.
There are the voices I hear. This morning, after my white
noise turned off, a voice asked me if I was listening. I of course replied “Yes,
I am”, silently. The voice said, “I love you.” I replied, “I love you,” back
and that was it, end of transmission. The voices usually happens when I am
alone, often still in bed, and the house is quiet. I started listening to these
voices a few years ago because they were very direct with what they wanted.
Most times it was a directive on what to draw but sometimes it was
conversations that they would have with me. They would talk and of course I
would silently reply. Sometimes they would show me pictures to help their
meaning.
Some people might think I am crazy but I prefer to know that
I am in tune with my higher self, always seeking to do what is needing to be
done for the highest good.
