Please bear with me as I tell this for this comes from my heart and has a deep message that needs to be heard. My mother passed away in March in 2007 and my father passed away seven years earlier. My mother was diagnosed with diabetes when she was eleven. She was nearly seventy and had far outlived the expectations of her doctor and perhaps she was simply determined to prove them wrong.
She had often told me as I grew up the importance of trusting in God and allowing him to guide me for all I had to do was put my hand in his. I for some reason unknown to me could not fathom that at that time. All I know is that I needed to live my life and learn from my own experiences. She had also told me that I had an important part in the future after the turn of the century. Back then I thought she was talking about the end of the world and I was fearful, yet now I know she meant something far different. I was fearful as I gave birth to my first child thinking the world would end and wondering about the world I had brought her into. A couple years later I gave birth to my second child and my fears were not quite as strong as before.
My mother and I had a huge falling out about two years prior to her death and the details of that are not of importance here other than to say that when she was hospitalized I went driven by guilt and asked for forgiveness for a choice I felt she had forced upon me. I realize now that this must have been one of her lessons. In January of 2007 I called my mother to invite her to my oldest daughter's wedding in February and I confessed to her that my daughter was pregnant. My mother simply laughed a bit. She came to the wedding and we began the process of making amends. In March my mother was admitted to the hospital just a few weeks after the wedding.
I will never forget several things that happened in the hospital that week. I went to see her after work several times that week and spent my much of my weekend there. I remember having a conversation with her and she was telling me that I was not to argue or fight my sister because there was a do not resuscitate order. I would have never done that for I totally understand that one does not want to feel like a burden. In another conversation she was saying how tired she was and that she just wanted to be off the oxygen and I remember telling her if she needed to go that she could and I would understand.
The next day as I was driving to work my sister called and said they were taking her off the oxygen and moving her to a private room to allow her to pass away. I spent the day at the hospital and that evening my husband brought the girls down to visit. They visited briefly and then I went to spend some time with them. When they left my cousin had come for me and told me she was going to die. I went into the room and hugged her and told her I was there. Moments later it became crazy as she tried to get out of the bed. I had to help hold her and I will never forget her eyes because they had become the eyes of a wild animal as her soul left her body. After she passed and they laid her back I sat in the corner of the room rocking. I could no longer look at the body because it wasn't her she was gone.
Several months went by while I had strange dreams and felt crazy almost like I was two different people. I ended up with this urge to give my daughter something. I crawled in to snuggle with her one night because she was living with us at the time. We talked and she fell asleep. I stayed for awhile and was drawn to put my hand on her belly over the baby because I had this overwhelming need to give her something. As I did this I whispered to her that I didn't know what this gift was but I HAD to give it to the baby. I was there at the birth of my granddaughter and it was the most amazing experience and a blessed gift from God. We bonded instantly.
I know now that this gift was my mother's soul. Since this time I have heard things, seen things and felt things that tell me this is so. I had a past life reading earlier this year where they told me of my past live but also indicated my future path telling me that I would usher the souls of the old ones into their bodies and help them adjust. As she told me this I began to cry for I had done this once before. I explained to her and she agreed that I had indeed done this and I would do it again. While these conversations are merely a few sentences the meaning and proof that they give are profound.
A couple weeks ago my granddaughter and I had a most interesting conversation. I had said to her when I was her age I was much taller than she is. She looked at me and said, "You were. I remember when you were a little girl."
I said, "You do? Do you remember my sister?"
She smiled, "I do." (She has only seen her twice when she was about two.)
"I remember when she was little too."
Then she said something that completely amazed me. "I miss great grandpa too."
My granddaughter has never met my dad because he died seven years before she was born.
I told my daughter about our conversation and she relayed three more conversations between her and my granddaughter. This first having to do with my half brother.
I met my half brother for the first time two years ago. I did not want to be alone so my husband was here and my daughter came with my grandchildren. As my daughter explained to them why they were going to grandma and grandpa's my granddaughter said, "No one is supposed to know about him." My daughter thought it was weird and dismissed it as a child's words of misunderstanding. How my granddaughter knew no one was ever allowed to talk about him was beyond me at the time for my parent's families had kept him a secret as well as my dad's first marriage.
It seems my granddaughter saw a picture of my father and said to her mom, "I know him. Is that my great grandpa?"
My daughter who was pregnant at the time said, "Yes, that is grandma's daddy."
My granddaughter told her, "You have to name the baby after him."
They did with the feminine form of the name.
One day my granddaughter says, "Mommy I remember when you were a little girl."
My daughter said, "You do? How do you remember that?"
My granddaughter answered, "I was old then."
I know now that the soul of my mother is indeed my granddaughter for all signs have been given to me including messages from my higher self and Spirit. I am blessed, amazed and grateful for this experience and this chance to let you know: WE have ALL been here before many times through many experiences and lessons. There is nothing to fear from this and no reason to have doubts. We are here to learn and to share in our experiences love. Unconditional love and acceptance are ours to give and to share from the moment we arrive in an earthly body until we return home. This is what the human experience is about caring and sharing, feeling love and compassion for all things, for we are all connected and belong to the great Oneness that is and of God.
Many blessings
with love, peace and light!
