An Exercise in Love

Once we did an exercise at work on resiliency. In this exercise the group formed a large circle. The people in the circle had to face outward and keep their eyes closed. Selected people went around inside the circle saying kind words. I cannot remember anything anyone else said except for the woman who said three simple words to me, “I Love you.” These three words brought tears to my eyes and I cried. I left the room immediately as the group was released to discuss what they had felt. In the safety of being alone I cried more because of the ache in my heart before I slowly pulled myself together. I cannot tell you why I cried other than the impact of hearing those words from a colleague that hardly knew me.

I cannot recall hearing those words very often as a child. Things I heard saw and had done to me as a child from the people I loved most, I took to heart and believed and little by little. I took them to mean that I was unworthy of love. Yes, I was gullible and believed because these were the people I had chosen to entrust my well-being and growth with. No, I was not grossly abused and I do remember being happy. I know that I became an escapist and would spend hours alone or outside away from every one. So what happened to me? I cannot pinpoint the exact moment where one event was the cause.

Some of the things people say to their children tell them they are not accepted as they truly are. Words are as strong as steel and children are pure love. What people do to their children is slowly crank shut the faucet from which their child’s love pours until there is nothing but a mere dribble left. Instead we need to allow them to explore, grow and bloom because inside each and every one of them is a genius waiting to find their niche in the world where they can be of the best service to others and be love. Loving kindness should be the priority of every parent. As we teach our children loving kindness it becomes a part of them and they will treat others with the same loving kindness. Say, “I love you,” to your child every day!